Nostalgia
by oh hay psy
Summary: Remus goes back and looks at events in his life-especially those involving his friends. My love letter to Remus Lupin.


A/N~ Wow. Welcome back to the wonderful world of fanfiction, Psy. Yeah. This is basically my love letter to Remus Lupin. Mmyep. This guy flat out -haunts- me. No other character, in any genre, has ever intrigued me, captured my interest as much as Remus has. I find him utterly fascinating, and have decided to basically document his life as I see it to my best ability, before JK Rowling can contradict me. -flail- so enjoy!  
  
Nostalgia--1/?  
  
"Remus, don't go too far!"  
  
"I won't, Dad!" Remus smiled back at his father, who's attention was already back on the newspaper in his large hands. He loved these summer evenings. While his mother and father sat inside, Remus was allowed the run of the backyard, along with the family dog, a huge mutt by the name of Zeus. He and Zeus played all sorts of games, like Secret Agent, or Pirates. Being an only child with two busy parents, Remus had learned at a young age how to entertain himself. And the books his parents read to him each night, both muggle and magic, only fed his active imagination.  
  
The game of tonight was Cop and Robber. Remus, in a rather daring mood, had elected himself to be the Robber first. He now stood before Zeus, carefully explaining the scenario to the canine. "Okay, Zeus, I robbed a bank, and so you're the cop, trying to catch me." Zeus gave a soft sort of whine, tilting his large head to one side. "No, no, its okay, I'm gonna give the money to poor people, so its okay. Like Robin Hood." The dog's response was a happy bark and a wag of the tail--that meant he understood. Little Remus was positive that Zeus could understand every word he said.  
  
"Okay Zeus, so you stay here, and I'm gonna go 'rob the bank', okay? Stay here, Zeus. Stay, Zeus." Even if Zeus knew nothing else of what Remus said, he knew stay. He sat very still, though his tail continued thumping happily against the grass.  
  
The four year-old darted off, away from the house, toward the forest that loomed on the border of their property. It had a forboding air about it, but what forest didn't, in the light of a full moon? His parents had forbidden him to go into the forest at night, and Remus had no intention of disobeying them. But a few trees stood away from the forest, providing good hiding places.  
  
And it seemed that Remus wasn't the only one who knew that. A great, hulking shadow was beneath one of the trees--what was it? It couldn't be a dog, it was too big. Even bigger than Zeus. As Remus slowly approached it, the outline became more defined--it certainly looked like a dog... It wasn't moving... maybe it was hurt?  
  
"Doggie?" he called tenatively. It didn't move. He called again, this time more boldly, still approaching the beast. "Doggie?" He was only a few feet away now. He stopped, worried gaze roving over the huge form.  
  
"REMUS!" He turned at his father's voice. He wasn't doing anything wrong; the dog was just-  
  
A scream escaped his lips as he felt iron jaws clasp around his upper arm, just below his shoulder. Pain blossomed throughout his entire arm as the jaws wrenched his arm, dislocating his shoulder and throwing him to the ground. The beast stood over him, hot breath in his face, paw pinning Remus roughly to the ground--he was about to go for the throat, to silence the screaming child.  
  
"ZEUS!" Pressure was almost instantly relieved as Zeus' huge form came sailing into the wolf, taking him off Remus with a powerful body check. The boy was dimly aware of the two canines wrestling mere feet from his bleeding, injured form, snarling and tearing into each other. Blood poured from his shoulder and chest--the wolf's claws had raked him deeply when Zeus forced him off.  
  
"REMUS!" His father's voice barely penetrated his pain-induced haze. He turned his head towards his father's voice. He was running across the yard--rifle in hand. He stopped a few feet away from Remus, tucking the butt of the rifle in his shoulder, aiming towards Zeus and the wolf--Remus could still hearing the snarling and growling as they fought.  
  
BANG!  
  
Remus Lupin sat bolt upright in his bed, thin chest heaving, perspiration forming little beads on his brow. Nightmares were nothing new to him--he always had them preceding the week of the full moon--but it had been ages since he'd had that certain one. It was the most vivid and frightening of them all. The blood, the yelling, the dog's snarls and Zeus's growling. His stomach churned as he recalled that he'd killed Zeus on his very first full moon as a werewolf.  
  
Disentangling his legs from the sheets, he slid out of bed and glanced towards the window. The sun was peeking over the horizon. No point in going back to sleep now--not that he particularly wanted to, after a dream like that.  
  
Pulling on a rumpled pair of pants and a shirt, he caught sight of the calendar on his night stand. Hmm. he hadn't torn a page off it in maybe two weeks. Didn't know why he kept the stupid thing, if he didn't keep up with it. Once dressed, he took the calendar and sat on his bed, tearing the pages off, one by one. As they fell from his grasp, they erupted into harmless flames. Finally reaching the appropriate date, the calendar let loose a bunch of confetti into his face, accompanied by what sounded like the tooting of cheap noisemakers.  
  
Remus restrained a growl as he set it back down on his night stand. Bloody stupid wizard calendar. He looked sideways at it, as though it had betrayed him. But there was no mistaking the date. November 23-- Remus' birthday. Normally, his birthdays didn't cause this sort of reaction, but this one.. This one was big. Today, Remus Lupin turned forty years old.  
  
It was as sudden as the tearing away of a page on a calendar-- Remus was old. Remus felt old. He realized with a start that thirty-six years of monthly transformations couldn't be very good for his body. Though Remus was actually in surprisingly good physical condition. He was skinny, but he blamed that on his genes. Hidden in that wiry frame was muscle tone-- you had to be strong to deal with transformations.  
Remus gave his head a light shake and stood, heading out of his bedroom and into the small kitchen, bare feet padding on the wooden floors. His house was small--one bedroom, one bathroom, a living room and a kitchen- -though it was large enough for him. The greatest advantage was the small cellar in which he locked himself during full moons.  
As he fixed himself a cup of coffee, Remus couldn't shake off the unnerved feeling his nightmare had left him with. His mind roved his brain, his memories, quite unable to concentrate. With a slight sigh, he set his coffee mug on the table and headed back into his bedroom, to the phone, to call in sick to work today.  
  
A/N~ -snuggles Remus plushie- So. what do you think so far? Constructive reviews would be much appreciated--though telling me how much you love my fic and Remus would be great too. ^^ And why not take a look at my Remus shrine while you're at it?  
  
Grey Wolf--A Remus Lupin Shrine 


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